Alright, listen up. You think this business, this whole damn racket, is some kind of free-for-all? Everyone gets a shot? Bull***t. This ain’t a goddamn playground. But here’s the thing, sunshine – a crowded market is a dead market. We don’t want everyone in the game, flinging elbows and driving down prices. We want scarcity. We want exclusivity.
So, democratize? Forget about it. We’re going to aristocrat-ize this whole damn thing. You heard me right. We’re jacking up the price. Not a little, mind you. We’re talking stratospheric. Prices so high, they’ll make your eyes water and your wallet scream.
We’re talking about a game, a high-stakes game. You want in? You gotta pay to play. We’re jacking up the prices, understand? Not a nickel and dime operation here. We’re talking real money, the kind that talks.
The competition’s a joke. They’re flooding the market with this cheap, flimsy product. We’re selling exclusivity, understand? A badge of honor for those who can afford it. You buy our product, you ain’t just buying a service, you’re buying a piece of the goddamn American Dream.
We’re gonna make the barriers to entry higher than a giraffe’s ass. Regulations? We’ll write our own damn regulations. Permits? Forget about it. You gotta prove you’re a goddamn gladiator, that you can handle the pressure of this game.
But for the chosen few, the winners, the ones who cough up the dough? Oh boy, it’ll be a goddamn paradise. We’re talking top-shelf, white-glove service. The kind of service that makes you feel like a goddamn king. You won’t just be a customer, you’ll be part of the club. The elite. The one percent.
This ain’t about making things easy. This is about weeding out the weaklings. This is about creating a market where the only currency is cold, hard cash. You got the stomach for it? You got the Benjamins? Then step right up. Otherwise, get the hell outta my way.
Now, some chump might ask, “Mamet, won’t that kill your customer base?” Wrong. We’re not catering to the riffraff, the bargain bin brigade. We’re going after the high rollers, the guys who wouldn’t blink at a four-figure price tag for a paperclip. We’re building an aura, a mystique. This product, this service – it won’t just be a thing you buy, it’ll be a badge of honor. A silent scream to the world that says, “I can afford this. You can’t.”
Think about it. You wouldn’t pay a million bucks for a loaf of bread, would you? Of course not. Because it’s bread. But a million-dollar loaf of bread with a gold-plated crust and a side of caviar? Now we’re talking. It’s not about the bread anymore, is it? It’s about the statement.
So, crank up the costs. Make it hurt. Because in this twisted game, pain is profit, and exclusivity is the name of the game. We’re not selling a product, we’re selling an elitist experience. And believe you me, there’s a market for that. A very lucrative one.
<>
Alright, listen up. We’re in the business of, what was it? Coffee shops? Forget the pumpkin spice lattes and the free Wi-Fi for the freelance posers. We’re going upscale. Highfalutin’ upscale. We’re talking single-origin, shade-grown beans that cost more than a two-bit suit.
The name? Grind. No cutesy puns. Just a one-word gut punch. Grind for the grind. You gotta put in the work to afford this joe. Forget the venti caramel macchiatos with a venti sprinkle of entitlement. We’re dealing in espressos served in hand-blown Italian glass. No names on cups. You ain’t special here. You’re just another cog in the caffeine machine.
The barista? Forget the teenagers with the nose rings and the ironic band t-shirts. We’re hiring ex-military. Veterans with laser focus and the ability to steam milk with the precision of a heat-seeking missile. No chit-chat. No weather reports. Just your damn coffee, black as a government SUV and twice as strong.
The seating? Forget the overstuffed armchairs and the communal tables. We’re talking hard wooden chairs, bolted to the floor. No lingering. You get your caffeine fix, you get the hell out. This ain’t a social club. This is a temple to productivity.
The price? Absurd. Extortionate. Enough to make a CEO choke on his stock options. But here’s the twist. We offer a discount. A loyalty program, if you will. But it ain’t based on points or free drinks. It’s based on performance. You bring in a new client, close a deal, hustle your ass off – the price goes down. Fail to perform? The price goes up. We’re in the results business, baby.
This, my friend, is Grind. Coffee for the closers. Not for the dreamers or the dabblers. Just the ruthless, the relentless, the ones who understand that a good cup of joe can fuel an empire. You in? You got the stomach for it? Otherwise, get the hell out of my way.