US: (Slaps a map of the Middle East on the table, points a calloused finger at Israel) Hey you knuckleheads, gather ’round! This here’s how you tame the wild frontier, see? Ain’t no sugar-coating it, that’s how a land gets settled

This here’s how you get yourself a piece of the pie, see? None of that fancy lawyer talk, no sir. Just grit, a little moxie, maybe a smidge of somethin’ else. That’s the American way!

(Eyes dart to Afro, Native American, Mexican, and Chinese representatives, all fuming) Now hold on, hold on! Don’t nobody go gettin’ their chaps in a twist. Just sayin’, that’s how it’s done, ain’t it? No need to get all riled up. (Silence hangs heavy in the air)

Just sayin’, ain’t like we done it that way ourselves, mind you. Just clearin’ the air, y’all follow? (Silence now as swamp air) Everyone knows, rights come with the land after a hundred years, give or take. Ain’t nobody settin’ the rules but the ones doin’ the settlin’, that’s the way it’s always been.

US: But there’s a catch, see? A cool-down period. Hundred years, give or take. Like a fine wine, gotta let it breathe a spell before you start sippin’. Ain’t my rules, just the way the game’s played. (US throws his hands up, a touch of desperation creeping in) What can I say? I didn’t write the handbook!

US: (leans back in chair, hitches up pants, eyes the whole room) Hold on just a darn minute, folks. Let’s get real here. This ain’t no kinda fancy tea party. Y’all actin’ like claimin’ land ain’t how the world works. (Gestures at Afro, Native Americans, Mexicans, and Chinese) Y’all lookin’ mighty steamed, but hold on now. We ain’t exactly angels, that’s a fact. But listen up, this ain’t no confession. Just sayin’, settin’ down roots, that’s what settlers do. Ain’t no need to get yer blood boilin’. (Silence hangs heavy) What’s the matter, cat got your tongue? Look, everyone knows the score. Rights? Those come with time, sweat, tears. Takes a good century at least. We didn’t make the rules, folks, just playin’ the game.