Tag: Satire
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Bonzo Weimar
History isn’t repeating. It’s been kidnapped, gutted, and dumped on the freeway, twitching in the headlights. Every smug political scientist with a bookshelf full of Weimar Republic tomes thinks they’ve got the playbook, but none of that fragile German handwringing prepares you for the lunatic spectacle unfolding now. Everybody in Substack is trying to lecture…
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PAC Memo
Internal Memo To: PAC Strategy Committee From: Funding Allocation Team Subject: Maximizing Value from “Independent” Thinkers Team, In our ongoing mission to counter the dirtbag left’s narrative, it’s critical that we double down on funding independent thinkers like [Deleted Name] and [Deleted Name]. These two have perfected the delicate art of looking like they’re just…
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The Ralph’s Doctrine:
Groceries, Geopolitics, and the End of Civilization by a Drunken Lunatic with a Cart Full of Frozen Burritos Power is unequally distributed, but it’s not supposed to be this obvious. Walk into any Ralph’s supermarket at 11:45 PM on a Tuesday and you’ll see what I mean: exhausted cashiers managing checkout lines longer than a…
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Valencia Floods
www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn… Oh, but it’s positively incredible how the people of Valencia clutch at the government’s skirts like lost children in a rainstorm! They actually expect warnings when a flood is on the way, as if nature itself should ring their doorbells. They imagine protocols will spring up to save them—protocols! Why, they could’ve simply popped…
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Our Town
The bus wheezed to a stop on the edge of a town that didn’t seem to exist on any map I’d ever seen. The paint was peeling off every wall, and the street signs looked like they’d been stolen from a historical reenactment village. In fact, everything here had a worn-out, mock-serious look to it,…
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Diary of A Scoundrel
In the past 15 years, it has become painfully apparent how only a select group of Americans have ascended to the lofty heights of billionaire status, while vast portions of the country seem to have completely forgotten the virtues of prudence and sound judgment. Instead of striving to liberate themselves from the shackles of wealth,…